I was a good employee, but also a bad employee. I did my job, and I did it well. And I enjoyed it. But I also let my boyfriend come in and we made out in the aisles. I also took him downstairs into the archives and we would make out down there. So dumb. I also didn’t like him very much. I quit the job when I turned 16 because I thought I would get a better paying job now that I was 16 - at Burger King, or the record store, or whatever. I never did. About 9 months to a year later I started babysitting for Mr. Conlan’s twins. Sometimes I say I was a nanny because most of the time someone was home while I was there with the kids. The mom had some post partum issues, and she needed breaks. Most of the time she was sleeping while I was upstairs with the kids. Or she went to Boston which was where she lived before the kids were born. I was with those kids from when they were only a few months old until they were about 2.
One time the mother FIRED me because I called out sick - due to a backache. I truly had a crazy back ache - turned out I had a UTI, and that is how it manifested (which is true even now - UTI, kidney stone, etc - it manifests in my back). I just couldn’t imagine lifting those kids over the baby gates over and over again. So I called out. She knew where my boyfriend was working, and she called his work to see if he was there. He wasn’t. He called out also - because he took me to the doctors. She theorized that I called out to stay home to hang out with my boyfriend. (talk about crazy poor boundaries to call my BOYFRIEND’s WORK!!!??). She had a doctor’s appointment, that she said she had waited months for, and that I “knew all about” - I did not. And fired me. I gave Mr. Conlan the doctor’s note as a “see!?? I was actually sick” . He ‘rehired’ me or un-fired me, and it was never mentioned again.
When I moved to Indiana - I had a hard time finding a job. I ended up finally getting hired at McDonalds. I worked ONE DAY. One day, I came home and said, “I never want to go back there ever again. In fact, I want to go home.” and we did. We packed up our stuff and moved back to CT. Ridiculous. We didn’t even try it for very long. I think it was 2 months total.
When I came back to CT, Aunt Ruth was working part time at Friendly’s as a waitress, and she was very good at it. She got me a job there. I worked there from ages 18-21. First a waitress, and then a supervisor. As a supervisor I cooked, made ice cream orders, did dishes, stocked, covered for breaks, talked to customers, balanced tills, and figured out profit margins. If the sales for certain hours were not over a certain percentage, we had to cut the staff - send someone home - in order to make the margins. Since I was the shift manager, I had to make those decisions on my shift. I loved and hated the job. It was hard work, and not rewarding. I prided myself in the fact that I would work side by side with the workers (waitresses, cooks, dishwashers etc). I did not have a holier than thou attitude because I was a manager. I came home every day with a stain stripe across my abdomen because I was short and everything I had to do involved leaning over a counter or grill, staining the shirt. They offered me the assistant manager position - even though I was so young. But the math didn’t work out. They offered me a SALARY position. I knew that I would end up putting in more hours than I was at the time, and at salary I would be getting a set pay, not hourly. And I wouldn’t be able to take any waitressing shifts for tips. So I said no.
Unfortunately, my boyfriend had a history of having a hard time holding onto a job. Mostly due to his temper. (red flag much?). He was fired from multiple jobs whilst we were together. He also had prep-cook/restaurant experience. So I got him a job at Friendlies as a cook. It wasn’t that I was naive in thinking that he would be different (more responsible and a better employee because I got him the job), I just didn’t know how to say, “No I don’t think that is a good idea”. I thought I would be a shitty girlfriend if I didn’t help him get the job. He was awful. I mean, he was a good cook. He was fast and efficient. He kept a clean grill area; he did what he was supposed to do to set up and break down his area or for the next shift. But he had a temper, He would yell and swear at the waitresses. He also was over 6 feet tall with broad football player shoulders, which made him very intimidating. He would get high in the freezer (because there was an exhaust fan that would blow the smoke out). And he was particularly awful to me - which was his MO overall - he thought he had every right to be mean to me because I was his girlfriend, I had to put up with it.
It was the procedure if you were a breakfast cook, when breakfast was over, you would get your grill area ready for lunch - switch it over from pancakes and eggs to sandwiches and burgers etc. And then the cook would usually take a meal break. One time after a very busy, chaotic breakfast rush - he switched his area over, and asked for a break. I had worked as the supervisor during breakfast but was already off the clock. He asked the Assistant Manager, and was told no. It was a VERY busy chaotic breakfast, he NEEDED a break, he deserved one. He told the assistant manager off, swearing and the whole bit. The assistant manager fired him on the spot. I defended him - I came back to the assistant manager and told him that he was wrong to fire that cook because “you won’t get off your lazy ass and give him a break”. And then I was fired too. I honestly didn’t think he had the right to fire me because I was off the clock when I said those things (hahahaha). A week or so later, we had a sit down meeting with the store manager - to discuss if either of us could be taken back. They would not take the boyfriend back no matter what - but they considered taking me back because the issue was more him than me. But the assistant manager didn’t think he could work with me, because I had been disrespectful and insubordinate to him, and it just wouldn’t look right if they let me get away with it. They told me that the boyfriend went to bat for me. Anyway - they didn’t hire me back.
This ex and I both applied to “Grossman’s Mr. 2nds Bargain Outlet” - I got the job. He did not. (This was at the very end of this relationship, so that was actually a very good thing that we didn’t have to work together) This was a retail store that was a cross between Odd Job/Job Lot and Home Depot. Grossman’s was a home improvement store like Home Depot - this version of the store also carried “seconds” of other items. The home improvement stuff was on the perimeter of the store, and Job Lot stuff was in the center. Things like decorations, snacks, clothes etc. I was hired as a cashier, but soon I was working the Customer Service Desk. I learned alot about home improvement items - what joint compound was, what paint to use, etc. Mr 2nds ended up closing - I worked until the very end and ended up with a decent severance package & unemployment.
At that point, my mother got me a job at her place of employment. She worked for “Euramco” - an eyeglass manufacturer. She was a department supervisor, and worked on all sorts of machines to physically MAKE the eyeglass frames. A side business of this manufacturer was The Pattern Shop. This was 2 man operation - with about 3 machines that made plastic PATTERNs that matched the eyeglasses being made in Euramco and other outside manufacturers - so that lenses could be cut for each eyeglass. It literally involved taking a base pattern, putting it through an electric saw machine, to cut the plastic to match that pattern. I was hired for the morning shift. I would have to be in at 7:00 am and work until about noon. Then another person came in and basically did exactly the same position from 1-5 (or whatever). I did not have a car. My mom would drive me in, (because she was also working there) and then I would take several busses to get home - I would walk to the end of the road, catch the bus into the center of Milford, then transfer to another bus there to go to West Haven. Sometimes I would catch a ride into the center of Milford with the person who was coming in the afternoon. (I ended up dating that person for a couple of years)
The parent company of Euramo was called Welling Eyewear, and their offices were at the other side of the parking lot. My mom had met the owners and had a decent working relationship with that family. One day, the CFO of Welling, Malcolm Todd came through the factory and saw me working. He decided that this may be a waste of my talents (?) and hired me into the Accounts Receivable department of Welling. Full Time. This was my first office job. This was probably around 1994. Computers were a thing, but the internet wasn’t used as universally as it is now. My job responsibilities included opening the mail, organizing the checks received, keying them into the system, and preparing the deposit. I also called (collection phone calls) the accounts who were 30-60 days past due to arrange payment. In time I became the key account receivable person for a couple big accounts - WALMART being the biggest; and also, as a liaison to the sales reps, especially in regard to maintaining their samples. I was cross trained in customer service and a little bit in the warehouse (mostly because I wanted to know how it all worked). The new CFO (after Malcom was jailed due to trying to kill his wife’s lover) gave me a DVD/CD that taught me the Office Suite programs (Word, excel). A few years later, after working with the sales reps successfully - the position of assistant to VP of Sales & Marketing opened up. I applied and was promoted. It was a family business. Owned by the Appels. Brother Michael & sister Bonnie. Both were semi cold, unemotional but decent. They were rich. Michael’s step-daughter was Lisa Chapman. She was beautiful, young, smart and very good at what she did. Her mother was also in the industry, but had died young (cancer, I think). Her mother was revered - so she had big shoes to fill. But Lisa did it well, and maybe better.
Michael Appel - President
Bonnie Appel - Vice President
Ron Kochman - VP of Sales
Lisa Chapman - VP of Sales & Marketing
I became Lisa & Ron’s admin assistant. I learned alot from there - on professionality, and dealing with customers and sales reps. With Lisa I helped design and publish ads, catalogs, sell sheets. I attended a couple of eyewear tradeshows in NY, being involved in the prep (renting and designing the booth), and manning the booth while we were there (assisting the sales reps) I developed fantastic relationships with some of the sales reps. The business was volatile. We went through a lot of layoffs. At one point Michael & Bonnie’s admin assistant quit (Old woman, whose hobby was legitimately being a “storyteller” but turned out it also was the way she worked - telling stories.) I then became the Admin to Michael and Bonnie too. Looks pretty good on paper - Executive Assistant to President, Vice President, VP of Sales , And VP of Sales & Marketing. Welling was bought out by another eyeglass manufacturer out of the country. Everyone was laid off. I stayed almost to the very end.
Side bar: My mother had moved to Florida around when I got the Welling AR job. She moved back a bunch of years later. Euramco was gone by then. This time I got HER a job at Welling. I think as a receptionist. She later was also doing Customer Service - and then she got promoted to Warehouse Supervisor (replacing the male warehouse supervisor who had serious anger issues) She worked past the merger, being one of the very last employees.
While I was in the Credit/AR department, one of my coworkers arranged for me to be given a car from an elderly neighbor of hers. With a car, I was able to also work nights at Branford Cue & Brew. I ran the front desk. Giving out pool tables, cashing people out, carding people (you had to be over 21 to get in as it was a bar). It was a fun job. I got to flirt with lots of people. I also could read or write or whatever at times while at the desk. Unfortunately, I worked until close, which was 12midnight to 2am depending on the day or how busy it was. Also, I would come home reeking of cigarette smoke. (My lungs hated it too). Joey, the owner, was a bit of an asshole. He would do coke in the office behind the desk. One time they had a stripper. It felt like a consent violation - I said to Joey : if I wanted to work at a strip club, I would.
I was still working at Welling, but anticipating the end of days, when I interviewed for the position at The Children’s Center. I remember specifically being pumped that it was an organization that was working with at risk, troubled children. That was the kind of thing I wanted to be involved with since the beginning of time. At first they offered me an hourly rate that was less than what I was making at Welling - and I balked. Also the director that was interviewing me was a little disconnected, because she didn’t realize how low the salary was until I pointed it out to her - ‘you know that is only $XX, XXX a year right?’ Her: ‘that doesn’t sound right’ . I took the job, obviously. And my life was absolutely changed forever. Working for a non-profit changes the way you think about things (its not about sales and profits, there is a bit LESS pressure in that way).
I worked for TCCOH from 2000-2005, when my daughter was born. Went back to work there in 2008, part time. In a position that was created FOR me - being the assistant to a Program Administrator (Cheryl) who didn’t have an assistant prior. She was two steps down from the top dog. She had a reputation of being tough to work with - I never had issues with her. I respected her and understood where she was coming from for the most part. She was experienced and really knew the industry and TCCOH. I think the reason I didn’t have issues with her was because I did my job and didn’t play in the drama. I also was cross trained to work with the IT director (who was my best friend). I left in 2010 to move to Pennsylvania* - came back one year later 2011 to a new position “Office Manager” This position was created while I was gone, and when I had heard about it, I declared, outloud even, “That is MY job” - meaning, it was the perfect job for me. It used all my skills and experience. If I were there, it would have been mine, no question. They gave it to someone else, obviously - but when I returned (to a residential admin assistant position) they changed things around to have me split the position with that person, and eventually be trained to take her place (she ended up having serious anger management issues with ME - I believe she felt threatened by me. Which makes sense. She was in a job that should have been mine. And then I showed up again.) I stayed in that position until I was groomed for the Executive Assistant position (the admin to the CEO). The woman who had it retired. She was the executive secretary. I will say this - I am NOT a secretary. I don’t do letters, take notes, get coffee, answer phones. A secretary does not make decisions or supervise or manage things. My skills involved more management, organization and procedures. I was adept at dealing with DCF and licensing, I was trained as an administrator in the database system. Calling me a secretary was almost an insult. They had me keep alot of my responsibilities when I moved ‘up’ - so we made up a new title: Executive Office Manager.
*When we moved to Pennsylvania - originally the plan was to have me be the stay-at-home mom. But after a few months, it was clear that wasn’t working out for us - we needed a 2nd income. I got hired right away at a Property Management company - that managed a huge office building in the center of Harrisburg. The position was Property Accountant. It was not an accountant. There was very little accounting - thank goodness. The only accounting portion was that I would have to key in rent payments received and prepare deposits. I was for the most part the office manager there, or assistant to the property manager. It was literally a 2 person office - me and Sue. We had a crew of 3 gentlemen who were the maintenance guys. In addition to tenant relations & accounting, part of my job was processing work orders for the guys. Sue was also the president of a non-profit committee of local businesses - I helped her with this also. I worked in the center of Harrisburg, literally a few minutes walk from their capitol buildings.
When I became the “Executive Office Manager” at TCCOH it was under Cheryl, still/again, and the CEO, Dan. Cheryl was the Chief Operating Officer, directly beneath Dan. So I reported to and answered to the top two people in the organization. They were grooming Cheryl to be the CEO when Dan retired, so she wanted to be sure to have me in place when that happened because she felt she needed someone who was competent, and she could trust.
I want to divert into my parent's jobs. I think they help to exhibit my upbringing, where I came from.
Both my parents were “blue collar” worker bees. They graduated high school, did not attend college. (My father took an electronic / electricity course, but that didn't have anything to do with his careers) They met when they both worked at a “5 & dime” - kind of like a dollar store, in center of New Haven. At some point my father worked at Marlin Firearms. A gun factory. So many of my mom’s family worked there. Grandfather (I think he retired from there), uncles, aunt. At one point, my dad got in trouble with the law because he and one of my uncles brought home parts with the idea of building a gun at home. Which now adays would be an even bigger deal. Building a gun at home??!? That's a big deal. But back then, not so much. (Yes. They were stealing from their employer) . He got laid off at some point. - I wonder if maybe he was FIRED because of the theft, actually. He picked up some part time jobs before settling into Foremost Foods. Photo lab. (Dad was into photography btw) He was a night security guard at some warehouses. One of the warehouses had books & periodicals that were removed from store shelves. In order for them (the books) not to be resold, they removed the covers. That didn't stop Dad from bringing some home. (Notice the trend? Taking from his employer again). He got the job at Foremost Foods, I think my Uncle Chuck already worked there. Much later, my uncle Jimmy worked there , in the meat cutting department. My dad worked in the freezer. And then he drove the delivery truck. Foremost Foods was owned by the DeLuca family. My dad became close with Joey DeLuca (read: they partied together) . We could purchase food / meat from them and get a discount. (They sold to restaurants and cafeterias) However, mysteriously things would “fall off the truck” and end up in our freezer. When my parents split, my dad long term dated a gal from their accounting department. Turned out she embezzled thousands of dollars from Foremost Foods. Money she used to go on trips with my dad. He didn't know, but didn’t seem to mind that she was stealing from their employer. (She died from a blood clot from a broken leg) Dad helped Joey DeLuca design and open Cue & Brew. And he helped man the front desk (as a part time job). - This is the position I picked up when I was old enough and had a car (manning the front desk at Cue & Brew).
My mom worked at Star Drug - a warehouse for drug store type merchandise. Aunt Ruth & Uncle Joe worked there too I think, and some friends too. This is where she learned that COKE (cola) will remove labels. I think she was laid off from there. And then got the factory job at Euramco (making eye glass frames). She worked her way up to supervisor. It was a bit of a man’s world back then. A female supervisor over men was not standard then, and her men workers did give her some shit at times.
When both my parents moved to Key West (separately) they got jobs at a small market grocery store. My mom was a customer service rep/ key holder, then head cashier. My dad was a grocery manager. There were 2 locations, they worked at separate stores. But would overlap sometimes. Part of me thinks my mom helped me Dad get the job, but he ended up making more $$ as manager. Seems a bit sexist looking back at it. When my father moved to Florida, he said “I'm going to work my ass off, might as well do it in paradise”
When my mom came back to CT, I got her back into Welling. We developed her customer service skills, and from there she answered phones for an Italian food distributor.
When my dad came back, Ed got him a job as an IT support at GE.
I left TCCOH for a job at another nonprofit. It was the first time I left a job by my own accord. The agency was getting citations from DCF & health department. Children were getting hurt, running away. Finances were crappy. They kept making management decisions that were whacked. A CEO embezzled $500,000 - and they didn't press charges. It just felt so unstable. I needed out. After 20 years. I still believed in the work. But not so much the agency anymore. Plus, the job market was such that I was not making what I should be for my experience & skills. For the longest time, I allowed for that because I was working for a “nonprofit” and a lower salary was the caveat to doing the good work.
Enter Clifford Beers & Youth Continuum. I accepted these positions mostly due to the money. They offered me $20,000 more than what I was making at TCCOH. Stability and $$? Yes please. When I gave my notice to TCCOH, I literally told them, “you cannot pay me what they are offering. “ Period.
And it was still a nonprofit, making differences in children’s lives.
These days, I have realized : I am doing what I wanted to do. I always wanted to help children & youth. I thought that meant being a counselor or working directly with kids. My decisions in life brought me in a different direction. I remember how excited I was when I got the TCCOH job , “this is the kind of place I wanted to work” . Sometimes you can make a difference indirectly. I work in the background, in the office, in order to free up the other folks to do that work directly with the children. Or create opportunities to help the kids. I support them. I am using My skills and MY talents to help youth. And I'm making decent $$. Certainly, I need to in this economy. ANd I deserve it for working my butt off to get here. I believe that the people working directly with the youth, therapists, teachers, direct care workers should be making significantly more than they do. I deserve to make good money, but they deserve it more.
